Introducing...

As an introduction to my line of thinking, i thought it necessary to use an example of my recent case study to give you a taste of what i do and how i do it so that you, can, in affect, use these same tactics to figure people out.

My dear friend began dating this guy (let's call this couple; Nina and Fabio) who i'd never met before. Fabio was from another college but had friends that went to Nina's college. Nina didnt tell me much more about him other than the fact that he knew exactly who i was, automatic red flag for Fabio in my opinion. Next, i met the fellow finally and his character was as follows; awkward, uncomfortable, asshole, controlling, and far too unconcerned about Nina. Second red flag for Fabio. Finally, Nina confides in me about an annoyance that occurred between her and fabio which were as follows- "He works alllll the time, and when he isnt working he's in class, he flipping goes to bed at like 9pm every night because he has to wake up so early." - Nina. I interrupted this banter (because obviously, this was the final red flag in my handy dandy rule book of Nincompoopery) about timing to finally tell her the pattern i noticed. First, no man, who is a frat boy, senior in college, wealthy, and asshole will EVERRR go to bed every night at 9pm. Sorry folks, it just aint happenen. This guy, Fabio, has something up his sleeve, and i made it my business to figure it out before Nina got hurt. I made Nina tell me more about Fabio...i found out exactly what i wanted to know. You can always tell about a guys hidden agenda from his vocabulary usage and how his personality lines up with his actions. Apparently Fabio would never answer his phone after 9pm ("yeah i was already asleep"-Fabio), Fabio was very paranoid that Nina was cheating on him and made this evident by wondering why SHE would not answer her phone sometimes. He would call and make assumptions that she was cheating even though she gave him no reason to think so. This is what text books call Projection...not many people use this defense mechanism because it's SO obvious but Fabio wasnt the crunchiest cracker jack in the box either. She began noticing a slough of other things that were odd; he tells white lies like it were easier than eating a bowl of Fruit Loops, he runs from confrontation and ALWAYS assumes the position as victim, nothing is every his fault, he blocked her from seeing his pictures on Facebook (this red flag about knocked me off the kitchen stool i was sitting on).

After hearing this, i automatically labeled him a cheater. Classic signs that if it were a snake it woulda bit me. More like killed me in Fabio's case though. This assumption was made only 3 weeks of them dating and i forewarned Nina. Seven months went by and this sick ugly truth came out...i'm not going to share the details however i will say that he was definitely cheating...Fabio had more girlfriends than he could count on one hand...

The moral of this non-fiction is that people have consistencies that can be caught if you just take the time to look for them before getting involved emotionally. Unfortunately, Nina was already in too deep to give up a relationship just by hearing my two cents on the matter. That is what this blog is about figuring people out which is something i have dedicated my life to as a psychology degree and counting. This takes experience and time...

You'll notice that i named them Fabio and Nina....you should think, wtf? Nina? Fabio????? Well i did that to make the point that we all have an opinion and a bias. Those names bring up stereotypes in your head...i do not analyze off of stereotype...that's just ignorant. It's all about finding consistencies in people and making conclusions based on facts hence forth. The Nina and Fabio story is a extremely condensed version of the actual event just so you have an idea of what's to come. I will give you a play by play of events and you will get to know the person i'm  analyzing just as well as myself. I encourage comments and i am excited to start blogging about what goes on in my head everyday. Welcome to my brain.