"How to Spot a Cheater" (1/12)

It is important to be aware that this blog is not merely about cheating males... it is about people, to observe the human behavior is often much like watching animal planet in the morning. This article "How to Spot a Cheater", is from a publication class i am currently in. This is the first draft of the article i will be sending to magazines like Glamour. Glamour is already interested in my material and i'll keep you posted on if they buy my article. Again, it is based off of consistencies in the lives of many cheating men i've encountered. There are 12 points, i will post one a week. Enjoy!

How to Spot a (Blood Sucking) Cheater:

As women we pride ourselves in being lavished. Lavished in material possessions, with love, with friends...and especially with adoration. The cry of a woman's heart is to be accepted and praised by everyone. Especially, men. Here's were women's vulnerability and man's conquering spirit collide in a cess pool of tears, scandal, broken hearts, and hand grenades. Okay, there's no hand grenades involved but according to Bruno Mars there a natural occurrence in his relationships. None the less, women have given men the perfect opportunity to cheat, in fact, we've shown them how----

Key characteristics of the cheater (1/12)>
1(part 1). He has over 1,000 friends on Facebook most of which are half naked women- Men that are communally good looking will collect an array of female attention for one of two reasons. The first being , he enjoys taking a Peeping Tom look at a tit or two without taking the time to subscribe to a porno site, however, some of these women/girls on FB these days, have not only invited Peeping Tom into their house but allowed him to sprawl out in his easy chair with a Miller Light and watch her change outfits throughout her adventurous day (dont forget Tinkerbell, her little rat dog is in all those photos too!). Of course, this is an extreme picture but you get the idea. The second reason, is because the man's self esteem is low and he needs constant reassurance that he's still prince charming. Now, you'd never think this because he hides it well, the chameleon bastard doesnt show weakness to anyone. The only way you can find this out, is if A) He spends far too much time in front of a mirror (my favorite is when the girl stops to fix her hair in a store window reflection and the guy slyly/or not s slyly checks himself out too). B) He asks your opinion about his looks including his outfit of choice, C) He enjoys talking with women in general, be sure to notice his face is always intrigued in conversation with even an unattractive girl, this can be done even if your standing right next to him. This is a very subtle ego boost.


1(part 2). He doesnt have a facebook at all!! (immediate red flag) - Now, i know what your thinking- "but but what if he is trying to concentrate on other things in life!? like school!"  Honey, the only other "things"in a man's life are other girls. You realize your dating a guy right or is he a scholar, Einstein's cousin!?? Men like to keep up with the times, this means having a facebook and remaining in the same category of "cool" as his friends. It's a social necessity and if he's a great guy the words "social liability" will never come to mind. Moving right along, the reason the cheater doesnt have a facebook;  A) He wont have to explain incriminating photos from last night, posts from the girl he met on boys night out, or the recent befriending of an ex. B) He will never have to change his relationship status (God forbid!). C) It's all around a safer way to live, he doesnt have to worry about his ladies finding out about each other.


---->Okay fine, let's say he doesnt have one, he'd better have a fantastic reason other than school....i mean, i've heard a guy say it was because he spent far too much time on it and with that quote, you've got an addictive personality on your hands. Then i learn...whoops oh yeah he cheated on his wife and divorced 3 years earlier...hmm. Facts start to line up, he parties every night, he's a self supporting actor in LA, very attractive, has a new girl on his arm every week...if i were a him, i wouldnt have one either.
----->Another guy said lent...i wanted to say, this is not Tosh.0, do not bring Jesus into this madness. But then i found out he was married. I didnt want to know anymore. Plus, i felt bad questioning the whole religious reasoning.

All to say, this is does not always mean he's cheating. Lent is on the safe list.

Introducing...

As an introduction to my line of thinking, i thought it necessary to use an example of my recent case study to give you a taste of what i do and how i do it so that you, can, in affect, use these same tactics to figure people out.

My dear friend began dating this guy (let's call this couple; Nina and Fabio) who i'd never met before. Fabio was from another college but had friends that went to Nina's college. Nina didnt tell me much more about him other than the fact that he knew exactly who i was, automatic red flag for Fabio in my opinion. Next, i met the fellow finally and his character was as follows; awkward, uncomfortable, asshole, controlling, and far too unconcerned about Nina. Second red flag for Fabio. Finally, Nina confides in me about an annoyance that occurred between her and fabio which were as follows- "He works alllll the time, and when he isnt working he's in class, he flipping goes to bed at like 9pm every night because he has to wake up so early." - Nina. I interrupted this banter (because obviously, this was the final red flag in my handy dandy rule book of Nincompoopery) about timing to finally tell her the pattern i noticed. First, no man, who is a frat boy, senior in college, wealthy, and asshole will EVERRR go to bed every night at 9pm. Sorry folks, it just aint happenen. This guy, Fabio, has something up his sleeve, and i made it my business to figure it out before Nina got hurt. I made Nina tell me more about Fabio...i found out exactly what i wanted to know. You can always tell about a guys hidden agenda from his vocabulary usage and how his personality lines up with his actions. Apparently Fabio would never answer his phone after 9pm ("yeah i was already asleep"-Fabio), Fabio was very paranoid that Nina was cheating on him and made this evident by wondering why SHE would not answer her phone sometimes. He would call and make assumptions that she was cheating even though she gave him no reason to think so. This is what text books call Projection...not many people use this defense mechanism because it's SO obvious but Fabio wasnt the crunchiest cracker jack in the box either. She began noticing a slough of other things that were odd; he tells white lies like it were easier than eating a bowl of Fruit Loops, he runs from confrontation and ALWAYS assumes the position as victim, nothing is every his fault, he blocked her from seeing his pictures on Facebook (this red flag about knocked me off the kitchen stool i was sitting on).

After hearing this, i automatically labeled him a cheater. Classic signs that if it were a snake it woulda bit me. More like killed me in Fabio's case though. This assumption was made only 3 weeks of them dating and i forewarned Nina. Seven months went by and this sick ugly truth came out...i'm not going to share the details however i will say that he was definitely cheating...Fabio had more girlfriends than he could count on one hand...

The moral of this non-fiction is that people have consistencies that can be caught if you just take the time to look for them before getting involved emotionally. Unfortunately, Nina was already in too deep to give up a relationship just by hearing my two cents on the matter. That is what this blog is about figuring people out which is something i have dedicated my life to as a psychology degree and counting. This takes experience and time...

You'll notice that i named them Fabio and Nina....you should think, wtf? Nina? Fabio????? Well i did that to make the point that we all have an opinion and a bias. Those names bring up stereotypes in your head...i do not analyze off of stereotype...that's just ignorant. It's all about finding consistencies in people and making conclusions based on facts hence forth. The Nina and Fabio story is a extremely condensed version of the actual event just so you have an idea of what's to come. I will give you a play by play of events and you will get to know the person i'm  analyzing just as well as myself. I encourage comments and i am excited to start blogging about what goes on in my head everyday. Welcome to my brain.